Life Goes On

So far this week...

I have learned that I really hate teaching Social Studies. Really. Ancient Chinese dynasties are soooooooooo boring. So what is the answer? Go to the county library and check out a couple of videos on it, of course. It's the best thing I ever did. Today we watched something about the Shang Dynasty. Madame Lu was buried for 21 centuries. On the video, a scientist pokes her arm and the skin is still pliable. The wonders of embalming! We also saw the 6000 terracotta soldiers that were discovered by peasants digging a well. Wild! Did you know that the Chinese invented the rudder? They were the first to discover the compass? The kids love it. They love impersonating Chinese accents even more. And stealing candy from the candy jar when I'm not looking.

Trayvon and I got into a screaming match and he's been put into in-school suspension until his mommy shows up for a meeting. He used to be so calm and boring. Now he's an agressive 300 pound, 6 foot giant. Sometimes I hesitate to tell him to tuck his shirt in. Then I think, "Why give up one of the perks of being the teacher?" Actually, bossing kids around is not that fun.

Our fish died. One is left. The ugly girl fish, of course. After the pretty male betta died, she started eating his neck. It grossed out all the girls in the row next to our fishtank. Very educational, I think.

Jinna came to visit today! She looks so good! And her hair is so long! I cooked pasta for her and made her hot chocolate. She says that Sarah T may move to California this year. We went to the mall and looked at the diamond rings I've been dreaming of since Orazio and I went to look at them last weekend. I tried on one with blue diamonds, but the ring didn't look nice next to my pale skin. Too much white gold. I tried on the gorgeous canary diamond again. It was even more beautiful than the last time I saw it, and Jinna preferred it to the plain white diamonds ring. I did, too.

Can you believe that Orazio and I looked at rings? I can't, either. And he was so into it! Like a girl! He kept saying how fun it was to look. How he didn't want to decide on one because it would mean that we would have to stop going to the shops and choosing different ones. Exactly.

Orazio is lovely. He took me to Big Bear Mountain for my birthday (Las Vegas was fully booked). We had the most amazing rooms! One was a cave. Seriously. It was a free-standing cabin, but the inside had been concreted all over to be like a cave. There were sparkly crystals, stalactites, the whole deal. The second cabin we stayed in was the Anthony and Cleopatra cabin. Hieroglphics everywhere. It was very exotic and beautiful. I didn't expect to be half as good as it turned out! Best of all, there was a jacuzzi. I LOVED it. I had 4 jacuzzi baths in two days. And we had real, working fireplaces in both cabins. That was why he chose them, actually. So we curled up in front of the fireplace and I had the best sleep I've had in ages...

David told me that I used to grind my teeth at night. Orazio is awake for hours after I fall asleep, usually, and he hasn't heard me do this. I think I'm calm and relaxed around him. I feel like this is right.

We ate at the Iron Squirrel, walked around the village, and slept a LOT. It was wonderful. And it was nice to be away from home.

I started Weight Watchers yesterday. The meeting was good, and the leader wasn't a flake. I hate it when the leader is an idiot. This one was good. She had gone on and off of Weight Watchers 6 times. She knows the reality of the situation. I bought 10 weeks, so I'm committed.

When I weighed in, I weighed far less than I thought. I'm only 4 pounds above my lowest weight ever on Weight Watchers. My goal is to lose 22.2 pounds. If I do it, I will have lost 74.2 pounds total on WW. Then, maybe they will profile me in the magazine! That would be SO fun!

Have I mentioned that I love my job? I love that the kids need my attention and they depend on me to guide them along the right path. Sometimes, they listen to me. Today I pulled Gabriel aside and asked him, "Gabriel, you love to read, right?" "Yeah, I do, Miss Flansburg." "Then why do you only have six points? You could be kicking Breeyonna's and Cortny's booties right now if you set your mind to it." "But Miss Flansburg, I'm reading the Lord of the Rings books right now like you told me to. I'm halfway through the first one." I was startled. A) I don't remember telling him to do that. B) I don't think I could make it through half of the first book of that trilogy. I'm dead impressed by the kid.

There's more to tell, but that is all for now.

Happy Days

O is so dreamy. And we're going to Vegas! I'm excited. I've never been there. But more than anything, I'm excited that I get to go away with him and spending my birthday with him. Last year my birthday was good (I flew back to England from Dubai and spent a week recuperating from the desert). But it was stressful and David didn't get my present in time for the day and I bought him a very expensive PlayStation for his birthday because I felt guilty about staying away for so long. That damn PlayStation! I should never have gotten it. After that, his friend Mark came over ALL THE TIME and he would NEVER leave. So for the rest of the year those two played games and smoked pot all night. At least Dave liked his present.

The year before was AWFUL. I had to teach with the mentor teacher from hell, my professional Praxis test reservation wasn't confirmed, I had to pay a huge late fee, and I was basically miserable. I cringe just thinking about it.

I put too much importance on birthdays. I used to feel pressured to be euphoric (and frequently ended up in tears), but now I'm just going to take it easy. I'm happy it is on Sunday, so I don't have to work, and I get to spend it with my big, strong honey. It's going to be fantastic.

School was great today. I found out that my little thug student tried to go to the school dance last Friday. The VP kicked him out because he was suspended from Thursday of last week (he stole a calculator and lied about it) and apparently he got very belligerent at the dance. He so wants to get his freak on with this little Hispanic girl in my class. He better keep it in his pants. I've seen her shut him down a couple of times. Good girl! He's always trying to go sit next to her in the back of the room. He's so greasy sometimes.

I can't believe I'm going to be so old! I have little wrinkles around my mouth and gray hairs and I don't like loud music. At least I can afford expensive make-up and I have Villeroy and Boch china now. Life is, after all, all about balance. . .

O Say Can You See

We begin every morning with the Pledge of Allegiance and the Star Spangled Banner. When I was a girl, it was the Pledge and My Country 'Tis of Thee, which I prefer, but just the same I feel so patriotic as a public school attendee. It's funny to hear the kids get it wrong sometimes. They say "for" instead of "o'er" and they put the wrong hand over their heart (or somewhere around their stomach). I tried to create a big poster with all the words to the Star Spangled Banner on it so we could see the words as we sing (to get them in the right order and, prayer of prayers, learn how to spell some difficult words) but one of my hoodlums ripped off my silver marker and we haven't been able to finish the navy poster without it.

One of my little angels is in in-school suspension for two weeks. I don't know what he did, the vice-principal collared him, but I get to find out at the parent-teacher-principal-child conference I get to attend during my planning period tomorrow.

I ate polish sausage and cabbage for lunch today. I only had a spoon, so I looked very elegant as I ate it, I can assure you, but it was tasty. There were about 10 of us in the teacher's lounge stuffing our faces at noon. In the middle of a bite of my organic cabbage, the vice-principal came striding in. He's an ex-cop and he puts the fear of God in my kids, so I really like him. He doesn't take any shit but he's funny as hell. One day, as I was heading out the front door, he passed me really quickly and apologized for running around me. "Sorry," he says, "I've got to get to my paycheck before my wife does."

So anyway, he comes rolling into the lounge and looks over at me. "Hey," he said, "Was that you I saw yesterday at Valencia Town Centre with the guy with his arms all over you?" Well, that was the last thing I expected announced in the staff lounge at the moment I had cabbage hanging out of my mouth. I tried to play it cool. "Oh, yeah. That was me." And calmly returned to cutting my sausage with a spoon.

"I thought so," he said. "I was going to catch up to you and say hi, but one of my kids got sick and I had to haul him outta there." I was like, "It's ok, don't worry about it!" And then he strode out the back door grinning. Later on I saw him outside patrolling the playground. "You thought you were safe all the way down in Valencia, didn't you! Ha ha ha!" he yelled across the field.

What a funny guy. In the lounge I felt a bit smug, at first. I mean without any effort on my part, half the school knows that I have a guy that likes to hang all over me in public. On the other hand, I'm trying to maintain an image here, folks. About 20 minutes later in the lounge one of my colleagues says, "OK, we want to hear about the guy Doug saw you with." I tried to keep it simple because I don't want to join the sordid-detail club and exclusively talk about my personal life, but it didn't work. I just smiled and looked down and said shyly, "Oh, I think he is really nice." So the other teacher says, "Oh I get it. When I hear that I usually think that the person isn't very good looking. Does he have a face only a mother could love?" I got so pissed off, but tried not to show it. This is the same bitch who told me that my car was cheap because it's a Kia. When that happened I had to explain 100,000 mile warranties in teenie-tiny words. So I decided to be blunt. "No, he's incredibly handsome, actually. He's dead sexy. In fact, it's threatening to go out with him because he gets so much attention from women. But maybe that is just because he's a pilot and he's Italian. I'm not sure." And then I smiled sweetly and walked off. The super-Christian male teacher sitting next to her had his mouth hanging open when I left. I'm not sure which part offended him.

I feel really tired and a little achy. So I'm trying to cure myself with a margarita. I'm going to bed soon. I really am turning into a little old lady.

Uh Oh

I really hurt Orazio's feelings. How come I always turn out to be a bitch? I don't even realize it and then it happens. I think the guy is immune to pain because he's gorgeous and has everything going to him. Then I basically tell him he's a jerk that interrupts haphazardly and he's lost like 30 points. He was so sad. I felt horrible. He kept saying how he really tries to be polite and sweet. He didn't mean to interrupt. He thought I was finished speaking.

Then he got mad! He told me fuck you and that he didn't like how I make him sound like such a jerk. I would have been offended if I didn't realize how bad it made him feel. Anyway, I think it's all smoothed over now. I just want him to be happy. He makes everything so fun. I want to keep him.

Oh, he was talking about meeting my mother (she's coming to the states in January) and I told him that she's going to like him so much she's going to want to put him in her pocket. It's true. In fact, I want to put him somewhere, but it's not my pocket.

Oh, one more thing. Orazio says that I started talking in my sleep. I said to him, "Give me the paperwork. All the children have it." He says I said it about an hour after I fell asleep. And I said it mean!

I have to laugh at that.

Oh, just one more thing I swear. My new student should be interesting. Her first name is Queen. Middle name Victoria. Queen Victoria. I am teaching the posh ones. Think I should put in for a headmistress position in Berkshire????

Katherine

I Still Heart Italians

Hell week is over. It's been really tough getting used to the school, the kids, and my fellow teachers. My kids are great, though. They fear me. I heard one of them on the playground the first day of school. He said, "She doesn't like us." Ha ha ha. And I sent two of my kids to pick up a VCR from my colleague's classroom. His name is Ed. He asked them how they like me. One said, "Oh yeah, she's alright." And the other one said, "She's mean!" Ha ha ha ha ha. If they only knew that it was for their own good. I don't think I've ever been so tired in my entire life. Exhaustion. I've never felt this way. Mega stress.

I got home on Friday around 5:30. Not bad. I'd been at school, working and organizing, until 6 a couple of times already this week. I have to arrive there at 7:15, so that's no joke. The kids have no idea. It looks so easy. I remember how easy it looked when I was a kid. I thought I could do my teacher's job standing on my head. That's why I couldn't understand how the crap ones managed to be so intensely crap. I thought they had been deprived oxygen during birth or something similar. Every minute of every day has to be planned. And your reaction to a kid with a bad attitude has to be swift and brutal, I find.

But there is no doubt that parts of it are fun. When my shy student hands over her vampire story, complete with cover, to show me what she did in her spare time and for zero credit, you realize how much these kids want to do a good job and get a scrap of attention. And when another tells you that she likes your Gucci bag, but you know it's Guess?, then you smile and say thank you. You don't mind if she tells everyone you carry a Gucci bag, do you?

Friday, after work, the gorgeous Orazio came a-courting. He has me so confused. Good-looking, tall, financially-independent men are few and far between. How can this one be so intelligent, so ambitious, so interesting, an expert cook, incredibly kind, and want to come spend every weekend with me?

I keep trying to scare him. I've already mentioned moving in together and prenuptial agreements. We'll see if he calls. Ha ha ha. He's so great, I'd rather scare him off now than nurse my wounds when I am completely besotted. Who am I kidding? I'm completely in love with the man. He says he's in love with me, so it can't be that bad. Neither one of us wants kids. We both want to go back to school. Our mothers are thousands of miles away (undeniable bonus).

Honestly, I had a really great weekend. Orazio and I went out to dinner at this diner-type place at the mall. I had an apple-tini, which I love. But I was so shattered that I wasn't very good company. I just love being with him, so it was nice for me. He thought something was wrong, though. He kept asking me why I was looking at him the way I was looking at him. I think I was just delirious. Then I fell asleep pretty early, and he took it badly. The next morning he said it hurt his feelings. What a sweetie. I felt really bad. So I gave him all my attention for the rest of the day (yeah, I know, real hardship for me).

We had such a great weekend. I took him shopping with me and we made out at the grocery store. Then I wanted to take him to TGIFriday's and get Jack Daniel's Chicken strips. Then he took the bill and then I was like, I told you I was going to take you out to lunch. And then he said no, he'd pay, and then he said I could if I wanted, and then I said no you pay you have more money. Then I felt bad and regretted that move for the rest of the day because I wanted to take him out to lunch and then I felt like a shit for not paying. So I bought the food for dinner at Trader Joe's but I still felt guilty. I really worry that he thinks I just want him around for cash. I don't. I wish money didn't exist. It makes everything so awkward.

The best was when he made my two roommates and I dinner. Penne Arrabiata, my absolute favorite. And it was so fucking good. Better than anything I ever ate at any restaurant. And I drank a lot of wine. Then, Orazio decided that we should crash the neighbors' party. Good idea (plus Afarin knew the woman who was having it). So we went over there and it turned out to be a 14-year-old's birthday party. It was so fun. The people were Hispanic and so generous. We all had margaritas. But the best was that they had live music in their living room. And everyone was dancing and my inhibitions were down, so I danced with Orazio. I loved it. I really did. He was very good and he wasn't shy and he didn't throw me around the way David used to do when we danced at weddings. It was so nice and easy and fun. And he looked so handsome. He was the best-looking guy in the room and he was all mine. It was nice. A little while later we left and I gave him some more attention (wink wink). He said that I looked so beautiful dancing. I love it when he says things like that.

Today I got an instant message from David. Orazio wanted to see me reply, so I did. I told David that I know about the R-MWC girl that he had sex with last week. He just laughed and said yep. He asked me how my love life is going and I declined to tell him. Ashley says he was a real jerk to this girl when he was in the states. She said he's out to get revenge against the species. Nice. It wasn't easy for me to end it. I wish he would stop acting like the poor helpless victim. He could find someone new that would love him if he would just put a little effort into it.

Ooooohhhh, as I was writing this Orazio called me. I like him so much. He calls me and I call him and we don't play games about it. I like him so much that it stresses me out, but he seems ready to make our relationship serious and easy.

I'm off to grade a seriously thick stack of papers. Good night.