I Still Heart Italians

Hell week is over. It's been really tough getting used to the school, the kids, and my fellow teachers. My kids are great, though. They fear me. I heard one of them on the playground the first day of school. He said, "She doesn't like us." Ha ha ha. And I sent two of my kids to pick up a VCR from my colleague's classroom. His name is Ed. He asked them how they like me. One said, "Oh yeah, she's alright." And the other one said, "She's mean!" Ha ha ha ha ha. If they only knew that it was for their own good. I don't think I've ever been so tired in my entire life. Exhaustion. I've never felt this way. Mega stress.

I got home on Friday around 5:30. Not bad. I'd been at school, working and organizing, until 6 a couple of times already this week. I have to arrive there at 7:15, so that's no joke. The kids have no idea. It looks so easy. I remember how easy it looked when I was a kid. I thought I could do my teacher's job standing on my head. That's why I couldn't understand how the crap ones managed to be so intensely crap. I thought they had been deprived oxygen during birth or something similar. Every minute of every day has to be planned. And your reaction to a kid with a bad attitude has to be swift and brutal, I find.

But there is no doubt that parts of it are fun. When my shy student hands over her vampire story, complete with cover, to show me what she did in her spare time and for zero credit, you realize how much these kids want to do a good job and get a scrap of attention. And when another tells you that she likes your Gucci bag, but you know it's Guess?, then you smile and say thank you. You don't mind if she tells everyone you carry a Gucci bag, do you?

Friday, after work, the gorgeous Orazio came a-courting. He has me so confused. Good-looking, tall, financially-independent men are few and far between. How can this one be so intelligent, so ambitious, so interesting, an expert cook, incredibly kind, and want to come spend every weekend with me?

I keep trying to scare him. I've already mentioned moving in together and prenuptial agreements. We'll see if he calls. Ha ha ha. He's so great, I'd rather scare him off now than nurse my wounds when I am completely besotted. Who am I kidding? I'm completely in love with the man. He says he's in love with me, so it can't be that bad. Neither one of us wants kids. We both want to go back to school. Our mothers are thousands of miles away (undeniable bonus).

Honestly, I had a really great weekend. Orazio and I went out to dinner at this diner-type place at the mall. I had an apple-tini, which I love. But I was so shattered that I wasn't very good company. I just love being with him, so it was nice for me. He thought something was wrong, though. He kept asking me why I was looking at him the way I was looking at him. I think I was just delirious. Then I fell asleep pretty early, and he took it badly. The next morning he said it hurt his feelings. What a sweetie. I felt really bad. So I gave him all my attention for the rest of the day (yeah, I know, real hardship for me).

We had such a great weekend. I took him shopping with me and we made out at the grocery store. Then I wanted to take him to TGIFriday's and get Jack Daniel's Chicken strips. Then he took the bill and then I was like, I told you I was going to take you out to lunch. And then he said no, he'd pay, and then he said I could if I wanted, and then I said no you pay you have more money. Then I felt bad and regretted that move for the rest of the day because I wanted to take him out to lunch and then I felt like a shit for not paying. So I bought the food for dinner at Trader Joe's but I still felt guilty. I really worry that he thinks I just want him around for cash. I don't. I wish money didn't exist. It makes everything so awkward.

The best was when he made my two roommates and I dinner. Penne Arrabiata, my absolute favorite. And it was so fucking good. Better than anything I ever ate at any restaurant. And I drank a lot of wine. Then, Orazio decided that we should crash the neighbors' party. Good idea (plus Afarin knew the woman who was having it). So we went over there and it turned out to be a 14-year-old's birthday party. It was so fun. The people were Hispanic and so generous. We all had margaritas. But the best was that they had live music in their living room. And everyone was dancing and my inhibitions were down, so I danced with Orazio. I loved it. I really did. He was very good and he wasn't shy and he didn't throw me around the way David used to do when we danced at weddings. It was so nice and easy and fun. And he looked so handsome. He was the best-looking guy in the room and he was all mine. It was nice. A little while later we left and I gave him some more attention (wink wink). He said that I looked so beautiful dancing. I love it when he says things like that.

Today I got an instant message from David. Orazio wanted to see me reply, so I did. I told David that I know about the R-MWC girl that he had sex with last week. He just laughed and said yep. He asked me how my love life is going and I declined to tell him. Ashley says he was a real jerk to this girl when he was in the states. She said he's out to get revenge against the species. Nice. It wasn't easy for me to end it. I wish he would stop acting like the poor helpless victim. He could find someone new that would love him if he would just put a little effort into it.

Ooooohhhh, as I was writing this Orazio called me. I like him so much. He calls me and I call him and we don't play games about it. I like him so much that it stresses me out, but he seems ready to make our relationship serious and easy.

I'm off to grade a seriously thick stack of papers. Good night.