How to make God laugh: Tell him your plans

This morning I woke up to the sound of breaking glass. I didn't think much about it; I just assumed Grandma dropped a glass in the sink or something. Five minutes later, I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen. In the middle of the floor was my Grandma, lying absolutely still. I thought she was gone. She was so quiet. Blood and broken glass were all over the floor. She had dropped the coffee pot and fallen. Her glasses were outside the kitchen, on the living room carpet. I ran over and shook her shoulder. "Grandma!" She turned her head, thank God, and looked up at me. "I'm fine," she said. I ran over and got the phone and dialled 911. I have never had to call 911 before. I told them my Grandmother fell down and was bleeding. They immediately switched me over to the fire department and I had to tell them our address, Grandma's condition, etc. I had to find out where she was bleeding and apply pressure. I thought it was her head, but she just had blood on the floor near her head. It was her wrist that was bleeding. I will never figure out how she got blood everywhere from that one single cut. She must have fallen, still holding the coffee pot, and sliced her wrist with the glass when it smashed. I put pressure on the wrist, but it was already clotting and bleeding very little, so I left the cloth on it and started running around like a mad woman. I turned off the alarm so we could open the front door when the paramedics arrived. I went ahead and threw the front door open so they could just walk in when they got here. I was wearing the stupidest short little white nightie, but I wasn't going to run change and leave Grandma abandoned so they could walk in and think I wasn't attending to her needs. So when the big, burly hunks of men came in, that's how they found us. Me in my little-girl-nightie, kneeling next to my crumpled Grandmother (complete with her nightshirt on inside-out), in the midst of broken glass and pools of blood. We got the full she-bang. Fire engine, support truck, and ambulance. They did all of Grandma's vital stats and everything was normal. The house was flooded with hot men and Grandma was answering questions about what year she was born and what she was doing when she fell. I ran to put real clothes on. They loaded her onto a stretcher, bandaged her wrist, and asked me, "Is she usually out of it after she falls?" I had to snicker. She's always out of it. She has dementia or is entering dementia, however you want to say it. But the doctors haven't labeled her. We think was made her fall was low blood pressure. When she stands up or first wakes up it gets pretty low. But when we ask her if she was lightheaded when she fell, she just says she doesn't know. So I followed them to the hospital at 8:30 (this all started at 8). We met with the doctor, he asked her questions, she gave him false answers, I corrected them. We did blood tests and a CAT scan. Nothing is wrong with her! Yeah, right. We got discharged at 12:45. My first real estate class was today. Should have been from 9-1. I called them after I had been at the hospital and asked them to leave a note for the teacher so he would know why I didn't show. Anyway, she got the all clear and I drove her home. We're here now. She has been resting a lot. She had a big day, to say the least.