Proud Bird

Today I drove my step-grandfather to L.A. It's about 75 minutes from here, so not too bad. We met up with his lawyer friend Cindy. She has a 7-year-old (going on 8, thank you very much) and she's about to go get a Chinese baby. At this point in the story, I know that Heather is cringing and gagging. I know. I know.

Anyway, we had a good time at the Proud Bird. It's a restaurant in L.A. next to the airport. They have old tin cans, oops, I mean planes, all around the joint with marble slabs telling the stories of when and where these planes were flown. My step-G likes it because he can walk around and lecture us on the WW II planes. Actually, it was pretty interesting. What was even more interesting was realizing that I am in THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. It was a buffet, ya'll. I ate pigs in blankets, pasta salad, b-b-q ribs, cheesecake, and anything else that looked like it would pile my lipo right back on.

My grandmother is walking around the house again, checking all of the locks. It is so annoying. This is the third time tonight. About half an hour ago she accidentally set the burglar alarm off. We cancelled it within a minute, but what we didn't know is that the alarm company called her stepson. We found out 3 minutes ago when he came to the front door. He lives ten miles away. Aww, what a sweet guy to drive over and check on us. I feel like a loser now. Grandma just stood there, looking pleased with herself to have caused a commotion.

My stepgrandfather nearly sprinted out of the house today, and he's 84. G-ma has definitely driven him nuts over the past few months. He kept looking at me and saying really cheerfully, "I'm on vacation!" He's been retired since the 70s.

Anyway, I am living it up here. They got brand new cushy leather sofas. I have the American Express card for gas and unlimited internet access. Life is sweet. If only G-ma would stop sneaking up on me. She is super suspicious of me and just stares and stares. Next time I'm gonna say boo.

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